EMDR

EMDR is a therapy for hard or upsetting memories. It was first developed to treat PTSD. It is still best known as a trauma therapy, but it can also be used when distressing memories play a part in other problems, such as anxiety, grief, panic, phobias, shame, or painful life experiences. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. The name is clunky, but the idea is more straightforward.

When something overwhelming happens, sometimes our brain does not deal with the memory in the usual way. The memory can stay raw. It may still carry the fear, shame, body sensations, and beliefs from the time it happened. A person might know the event is over but still feel unsafe. They might know it was not their fault but still feel to blame. EMDR aims to help our brain process the memory, so it feels more like something from the past. The goal is not to forget what happened. The goal is for the memory to lose some of its force, so it no longer shapes how you see yourself, other people, or the world.

During EMDR, you bring the memory to mind in a specific way. You notice the image, the feelings, the body sensations, and the message the memory left behind. At the same time, you focus on something else, often your therapist's fingers moving side to side. This is called bilateral stimulation. It usually means left-right eye movements, but it can also involve tapping or sounds. The idea is that bilateral stimulation helps the memory become less distressing and sets our brain up to make new connections.

EMDR is done in short sets. A set might last around 30 to 45 seconds. After each set, your therapist asks what you notice. You might notice a new thought, a change in the image, a different feeling, or a shift in your body. You do not have to make something happen. You notice what comes up, and the therapist guides the next step.

EMDR sessions have a clear structure. Before processing a memory, your therapist will spend time understanding your history, what you want help with, and whether EMDR is the right fit. You will also learn ways to steady yourself if strong feelings come up.

When you are ready, you and your therapist choose a target memory. The processing then happens in short sets of bilateral stimulation. 

At the end of a session, your therapist helps you settle before you leave. In later sessions, you check what has changed and whether more processing is needed. EMDR does not require you to describe every detail of what happened. It does ask you to bring the memory into awareness while staying connected to the present. The aim is for the memory to feel less like it is happening now, and more like something our brain has finally been able to file in the past.